Sunday, March 27, 2011

My First Number Close


O, by the way, this is not the first time i have exchanged number meeting a women 4 d first time but this is the first time i have done it knowing that this is my aim even before saying hello. Not that it means anything, i m not going to call her anyways, it just feels good to know u can get a number when you want to (in most cases) !
We were sitting in the office of a now-famous producer (Tanu weds Manu) and this reality TV actress walkes in.
Rewind.......
Anand, director of the film, calls the wanna be actresses in the evening, after talking business (meaning if we can fit her anywhere), we are done for the day. The onus is on me to casually flirt with the actresses and everyone has a great time, the oldies have a great time just observing, they know they have crossed the age. This is what it is, harmless flirt, i want to keep it that way. It’s just good humour. 
So Anand tells me about this reality TV star (some splitsvilla winner) who is bugging him with phone calls and he doesn’t want to meet her outside the office because she comes with a reputation(I don’t see reality TV, have no creative regards for people involved, as for the girls, I have no opinion, my opinions r 4 people i care!!). So he tells us to wash our faces, she is on her way, i tell the writer Vinay i will let him walk away with this chic (i am lying ofcourse but he doesn’t know it). I have to go to a stationery shop for supplies and return to see this overtly made up, very average looking chic sitting in glamorous clothes. I m like, “watever” (my current girl friend walked for Tarun Tehlani n is very intelligent, so who cares!!!)....but ab flirt to karna hi hai, kya kiya jai, performance pressure jo hai! 
When i walk in, she looks at me, i faintly smile and look beyond. 15 minutes later they have all ran out of topics and it’s time for me to spice things up. As far as she is concerned i m just another guy, she thinks i m an AD and hence not the one who is useful, so she doesn’t care if i exist. I like it that way, makes it challenging,  this is how it starts.... 
Anand: Arre iss film main chhote say role k liye log kaha kaha say aa rahe hai, abhi kal hi ek banda aaya tha canada say seedha aur bola ki he wants a role any duration, he sang that abhishek bachan song bluffmaster. 
Nikhil: Aur yeah kaha say aayi hai ?
Anand : (huge laughter) Oshiwara
Nikhil : (teasingly) Next....
Girl (smiles too).....blah blah blah blah to anand n vinay
to Nikhil  : What sunshine r u 
Nikhil: Cancer 
Girl : Really ? They are supposed to be quite. 
Nikhil: Correction , either very quite or the most talkative in the group, depending on the mood ..ur?
Girl: Leo 
Nikhil (smile) (looking at Anand)We r not getting along
Girl : No, why not? my ex boyfriend was a cancerian 
Anand: (teasing) Kya hint de rahi hai ? 
Nikhil : Isi liye ex hai, current nahi ?
ha ha ha ha ha...............
Girl : [Talks about her ex-boyfriend ......blah blah ..about her roomate to Anand i stand up from the seat go to the kitchen, the writer takes my seat ....] We are moving out of my flat. Me and Garima(hot roommate) are planning a house party, i will invite you.
Anand: [Doesn’t know what to say ....]
I m standing in an aloof corner sipping my green tea, i smile at the blatant hint, is this an invite to a threesome? Thinking “Thats the problem with being a gold digger, u dig it and wonder where is the gold, it’s lost to the competetion, but these dumb asses do not have the wisdom to locate a new mine....” 
But then everyone is trying to win the race so you do what you think will take you forward, fine by me , watever!!!!
She asks me to hand her handbag which is lying where i am standing [:X] she clearly does this to subconciously get even for all the leg pulling i have done and show me that she doesn’t care who i m .......
Nikhil : wow .....really ?
Girl: Do u have a problem ?
Nikhil : (smiling)That will be 5000 bucks 
Girl : taken aback, lost for words 
Nikhil (Smiling): Yeah i am high maintanence....
[This is the only time i have done badly, instead of 5000 i had to say “carry ur handbag only if ur buying a coffee or a date .. but then i m learning] 
.....................................................blah blah ................................................................
                                     
                                                                                   ANALYSIS TIME
I have played well, we have broken the ice. 
Step 1: She started the conversation, i just sat next to her, without looking at her, talked to everybody else. 
Step 2: Neg neg (we won’t get along, where has she come from ?)....to disqualify myself as a guy who is hitting on her. So i have got few indicators of interest but she immediately steers her concious brain to Anand, she is here for work !! So Step 3 has to be displaying higher value without hitting on her .....
So i start a conversation with Anand (I am so proud of all this because i didn’t try to do everything conciously, it happened and that means i m getting better at this) about an incident that happened when we were shooting Jugaad and i told him how that interaction gave me clarity and vision for a career choice. Anand loses no time telling her i m an iitian and she gives this loud shock ...Really !!!! Vinay says “he chukked job of 3 lakhs” 
Nikhil (to vinay): IIT ka naam kaafi hai ....salary batana nahi padta ....
          (to the girl): What can i say, got lucky in the gene pool!!!
Anand: He has also directed his feature length film (and i m like YES, this is relevant info, clearly she knows she has started on the wrong foot)
Girl: (To me) : O who acted in it
Nikhil : Blah blah ...
Girl : When is it releasing  ?
Nikhil: Yaar mere haath main hota to kal hi release kar deta ...we r showing it to distributors...ab producers bhi naye hai to thoda time lagta hai na, for people to take u seriously .......
Time to punish her for the handbag thing...
Nikhil (continued) : ab think about it, u walked in the office u didn’t care who i was, u know , fine, not ur fault , thats being human (didn’t put her on a spot but she knew it has not gone well, AND IT HASN’T, I did mind!!!) ......
Girl: She is shocked, doesn’t know what to say !!!!
Anand noticing that we have been chattign amongst ourselves for 5 minutes
Anand : Ab to tu number le le 
Nikhil: (pulls out a newspaper and a pen): a ten digit number beginning with 9
Girl: (smiles) puts her number
Vinay : Ye ladka bahut aage jaiga 
Nikhil: (Smiles)...aisa sab log kehte hai 
everyone laughs 
....................................................blah blah blah blah..................................................
Conversation on Malika Sherawat
Nikhil: I m a huge fan 
Girl (shocked) what? 
Nikhil: Yeah, for a married women to have a dream that strong and actually make it, she has a lot of guts and i m such a huge fan !!!
I love Malika Sherawat for what she represents and wanted this girl who is famous in the circle for similar reasons. So we chat about Malika Sherawat for the next few minutes and then 
Nikhil: My time is up, it’s 8pm already
Anand: haan chala ja tujhe time lagega.
I leave the office, shake her hand, thats it don’t say anything like keep in touch or whatever....
I go to a stationary shop take my copy of the screenplay and i m returning to my parked car, eminem playing in my IPOD. This car stops and i see the same girl in a Santro (i guess), she left after i did !  
Girl: Where r u going ?
Nikhil: O no i have a car but thanks for the offer, appreciate it (smilinggggg)

So is she ..........
This is the area i erred, i got this god sent chance and had to capitalise on it, should have sat in her car and taken her to Marriot for making me carry her bag and then ask her to drop me to the same place and shown her my car, which by the way is a slick looking impressive machine [jo arth(materialism) ki bhasha samjhte hai unhay adhyatm (spirituality) nahi samjhana chahiye]
But then everything in hindsight makes perfect sense! 
I still have lot of room to improve in the ACT 1 of the approach ...ACT 2, 1st Date k baad start hota hai ....but by the time this movie is over i wil have cleared the 2nd hurdle of going on an “instant” date with someone.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

The Book that changed my life


To quote the author “ I always hated the idea that sex is something a women gives, to me it is something a women shares”. Probably for the first time someone echoed my sentiments. I was always proud of myself for not acting on certain very blatant advances. But i wouldn’t bring it out in open to my friends because they would just not understand the psyche. I would argue “i was underwhelmed (physical beauty wise) or it just didn’t feel right (in case of a friend’s sister)” only to be mocked. Slowly i was beginning to question whether it was the inertia getting in the way or was i just kidding myself. Reading the book answered the question for me. In few cases, i didn’t want to share the privilege and in few others the women didn’t want to. When you talk about it to people (in your hostel) you will hear about stories of how you have to be direct (someone met a horny women and set a bad precedent). True some kind of audacity helps you to blast the last moment resistance but then most people take it too far. 
All the guys out there who come up with the direct approach [like shaking hands with a girl at a party with that specific scratch of the hands or mailing her on a tuesday morning asking her if you should book a hotel room] should be shown the harvard lecture. This psycho prof ran an experiment where 90% guys agreed to sleep with a good looking stranger and only 3% women agreed. Anyone who uses the direct approach should be shown this harvard lecture. Recently i was hanging out with a senior of mine who is a Investment Banker in the making and was in NY where he met this Indian Girl and they made out the first day they met and even in this case he crashed and burn on the final frontier. I prodded him to know what happened and it was so funny how he blew it and he had no clue what happened. Thanks to this book (no i am not sharing the name) i told him the evolutionary hardwire that prevents women to go all the way and also why no matter who you are as a guy you will always feel under confident approaching a women of beauty,it’s your brain fucking you. In my opinion it is because of this that men really have to kill a demon inside them to approach a women they really want to approach. Often a time they take it too far. 
I will end it with this “there are no ugly women in the world just lazy ones” similarly “there are no assholes “just men who want women but have no idea how to go about it” and “you don’t chose women, they chose you, you can only give them the opportunity of knowing you”. Also in this book is another gem of a quote for all the guys out there who have no clue why women are not as forthcoming as they are sexually “women like to have sex as much anybody else they don’t want to be taken advantage of or treated like a slut”. These are not my personal opinion it comes from the world’s foremost pickup artist, people who are very average looking and of modest backgrounds and have picked up some very famous names (britney spears, paris hilton). It might sound cliched (i can vouch for it though) but everyone will meet women (notice the plural) who will want to SHARE it with you.