Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Daaru Desi

In one week i heard about two stories both had a drunk guy at the end of the phone .

In one story there is this guy who asks a girl out for a coffee, the girl denies [pehli baar main haan to nahi hi karna hai {her words}]. The guy asks her number and a week later this guy calls her, 1st call is a  drunk call and talks for an hour ....asks her to meet him the next day ... The girl says [to me] " i don,t want another mess up in my life " 

In 2nd story a guy hears something from his girlfriend, which goes like this ... An ex boyfriend is buzzing me and has called me up drunk .....this guy here is drunk [i m told that is usually the case] and believes everything he hears so much so that he wants to "talk" to the ex on the phone ... 

One just has to see both these events from an unattached perspective. 

Here is a story from my childhood, i must be 11 or may be 10 , it is my kaka,s 1st anniversary, my aunt is all ready, my mom and my bua are super happy, we have good food prepared, the ladies are having a great time, slowly the clock ticks to 9 and then to 10 , all the festivity is gone. My bua and mom try to console her , she says nothing, changes her dress and goes to sleep. Even for a guy 10 years old i knew that this was horrible. My uncle came home late night [arnd 12], all sloshed ..... Nobody said anything. 

I love my uncle and he loves his wife.

Hearing both these stories i felt sorry for the women who will marry these guys, one out of 5 of these guys will be an addict. What it means is this [from personal experience]:-

In all major events the guy will be sloshed, at public events and family gatherings he might puke and/or embarrass his wife in front of guests. [Has happened to one reader of this post at a family wedding] 

The kids won,t respect the father which, in almost all cases means a broken family.

In most cases there wil be cases of wife beating, should she nag him when he is drunk. 

In many cases he might turn up on the doorstep beaten up or being dragged home by police/autowallah.

My aunt does,t allow any of us to sleepover at her house because she does,t want to risk a scene.

Now i don,t know about these two gentleman but even if they are twice the man that my uncle is [and my uncle is a gem] even then, the girl is screwed. 

And yet most women will still marry a guy who is regular drinker because they believe it won,t happen to them [o, btw, if loyalty is ur thing, well u know wat walks out of the door when ur drunk]. 

Here is the wishful thinking "everyone drinks [says who ?]" "it only happens to the lower class/uneducated [yeah ofcourse....]" "he loves me [in that case u deserve it]" "i will change him [yeah ofcourse]" "he drinks almost daily but in limits [yeah we will ask u wen he is 40]" 

So if ur a girl reading this, just look at this group of guys who are regular drinkers and know that 1 out of this 5 is a sure shot tragedy, within 5 years of the marriage your condemned to a life of eternal emotional pain and embarrassment. 

If u love ur man too much to risk a lifetime of misery for 3 years of romance ....sure go ahead, in that case it,s ur Kismet . 

It is easier for a girl to not be an alcoholic, but in a guy,s world if u drink casually [not strictly socially] then slowly u will be a part of a group that drinks regularly and that group will binge drink more regularly as they grow old, one of them will be an alcoholic.  

I know atleast one girl who says she can,t marry a guy who doesn,t drink, she says, he will be boring. I wish i could show her the trauma we have been through, i don,t wish it even on my worst enemy. The risk of being a bore is rather a small one.